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Tuesday, 31 January 2012 |
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Most of us I think, have probably experienced some kind of grief in our life. The death of a loved one or even a beloved pet. The grief when losing our hair is very real as well. Although it is hard to talk about and not always easy to explain. It is real however.
I would say that you can go through all the stages of grief as you would with any other kind of loss. OK it is not as serious as losing someone you love, but it is frightening, lonely and creates feelings of loss and sadness. When a woman loses her hair she loses a sense of herself, which is extremely frightening.
We all need a ballasts in life and we have them without even realising it. When we look in the mirror we see ourselves. We may not always like what we see or want to change some things about ourselves, but for the most part we are familiar to ourselves and comfortable with that. A person can start losing their hair very quickly. This affects how we act and relate to people. How will people react to me? Am I still lovable? These are some common feelings associated with grief:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Greater-LondonSurrey-Alopecia-Hair-Loss-Support-Group/120672244635918
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Friday, 20 January 2012 |
 Menopause and hair loss.
When I was diagnosed with alopecia areata at 18, I thought hair loss in women was a totally rare and unusual condition.
What has really struck me lately is how many women I see with hair loss associated with menopause.
I didn't know the two could be related. I was aware that a lot of very elderly women have to deal with thinning hair, but it is also common in women in their 40's and 50's. This type of hair loss is called androgenetic alopecia. Androgenetic alopecia is related to hormone levels. There are hereditary factors which can come from the mother or the father.
About 50% of men are affected by this, some pieces of research suggest that the same amount of women will suffer from this kind of hair loss and possibly up to 75%.!
This can make depressing reading. Society expects this of men but not of women. It is a very hard subject to talk about. Women feel alone and embarrassed about their condition. It is a lonely feeling, carrying this big secret around as if you have something to be ashamed of.
Unless you can speak to someone who has been through it, it's very hard to talk about.
Some hair loss is normal, it may be difficult to judge whether or not the amount of hair you are losing is something to worry about. The following are some of the most common symptoms of hair loss in menopause:
Large clumps fall out when washing it.
Unusual amount of hair appear in brush.
Small bald patches on scalp.
Hair thinning on sides, top, or front of head.
I know how scary it is- but you do not have to go through this alone.
Remember,You are Beautiful no matter what.
Check out my support group page www.juliemorris.co.uk/support or you can contact me direct 0798 231 0091.
Please talk to your doctor if you are worried about any health issues.
Sources used:
http://www.34-menopause-symptoms.com/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/hair_loss_women.shtml
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Tuesday, 08 November 2011 |
I have a story I would like to share with you. A woman had been coming to the monthly support group regularly. She was losing her hair, but didn't have the confidence to try a wig. She finally decided it was time to get one as her maternity leave was going to be up soon and she needed to go back to work. We got together she ordered her wigs, and she found one she liked. She walked out the door looking beautiful. I knew that she was nervous though, because although she really liked her new hair, she was worried about the reaction she was going to get. Which is what we all go through when we start wearing a wig. The next time I saw her I couldn't belive the transformation! She looked vibrant, and beautiful. Even her body language had changed, she was relaxed and happy. She has told her work colleagues and they are very supportive and love her new look.
No one can believe it's a wig and she often gets asked where she got her hair cut! She now wishes she hadn't waited so long to take the plunge and get a wig.
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Monday, 12 September 2011 |
Where do I begin when I talk about the feelings we go through when losing our hair? So many many, feelings. Losing my hair 23 years ago was one the loneliest experience of my life. I had so many people who loved and supported me- but I was still alone when I faced myself in the mirror everyday. I was alone when I had to go out in public. And I was alone with my fear. I couldn't put into words how terribly frightened I was. Frightened of being laughed at, frightened of feeling ugly, it didn't matter whether or not my husband still said he thought I was beautiful. I still felt ugly and I wanted that feeling to go away!!
There were other feelings as well , I could list hundreds and all of you could add to that list- angry, sad, worthless, ugly, why me?, unfair, frustrated, brave, strong, weak, little, invisible, nothing, numb........
When I got back to England after the wedding I slept a lot.
I ate a lot. Unfortunately those damn feelings were still there! Who would have known?
But, life does have a way of going on without us, whether we choose to participate or not. I felt guilty about grieving as if I should "snap out of it" as if suddenly not recognising the woman in the mirror was no big deal.
There is no time frame however- no rush to feel better.
What I would like to say from my experience is this- please don't be brave if you can't at the moment. Tell someone you trust "You know actually I'm scared as hell."
These feelings will not last forever- it's impossible. You will feel happy again. You have more resources than you ever thought possible.
I am proud when I look back at what I have gone through and came out the other side.
I am proud of anyone who has to go through a traumatic change in their appearance and carries on with their life. We do the best we can.
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Thursday, 14 July 2011 |
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When I went to California last summer to visit my parents, I came across an old book. The title intrigued me - How to Stop Worrying and Start Living By Dale Carnegie. Wow I thought , that sounds a modern title for the 1930's. I didn't know at the time it is considered a classic work. It is an amazing book and once again reminds me that there are not raelly any original thoughts.
I dip in and out of this book regularly, it helps me relax.
"You and I are standing at the meeting place of two eternities: the vast past that has endured forever, and the future that is plunging on to the last syllable of recorded time. We can't possibly live in either of those eternities- not even for one split second. But , by trying to do so, we can wreck both our bodies and our minds. So let's be content to live the only time we can possibly live: from now until bedtime." Anyone can carry their burden, however hard, until night fall," wrote Robert Louis Stevenson. " Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all that life really means."
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Tuesday, 08 March 2011 |
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Hello there,
My name is Anthony and I have been helping people to deal with their feelings for quite a long time now.
I have recently been speaking to Julie about how what I do could help some of her clients. She asked me to write a blog and introduce myself. Now I’m pretty new to this whole blogging thing, (getting my head around Twitter was fun to say the least) so apologies if I’m a little clunky at first.
I am a Hypnotherapist. This is my job and I absolutely love doing it. I have been doing it as a profession for about three years now and I’m pleased to say that it is becoming more widely accepted as a fast and powerful way to help people to change their negative emotions. But recently I realised that hypnotherapy still has a certain “stigma” (for want of a better word) surrounding it.
I was asked a question that made me realise just exactly how hypnotherapy is viewed in general. The question went something like this:
“How can laying someone down and talking to them in a soft voice change the way they feel?”
I thought for a little while. And then I smiled and I said, “It can’t”.
The person looked a little confused. I smiled again and I said, “but that’s not what hypnotherapy is”.
Losing your hair can be absolutely devastating to some people, and then to others they can move on and live with it fairly quickly. How can some people deal with things more easily than others? How can some people easily move on and others become stuck?
Every human being has the ability to change his or her feelings and to eventually move on. The capacity for the mind to change is limitless. Some people have naturally learned how to use this ability and others have not. I encounter people who are struggling with their self-confidence all the time. I encounter people who are struggling to come to terms with the way they look - whether this being because something has change recently or just because their image doesn’t match how they feel – and I use hypnosis to TEACH them how to move on.
Laying someone down and talking in a soft voice may be how it looks to an onlooker, but the person who is relaxed with their eyes closed (whether it be laying down, sitting in a chair or standing up) isn’t simply listening. They are actually going through a process. They are getting in touch with those negative feelings and learning how to change them.
That’s what I do. I teach people how to change the way they feel about a situation that is beyond their control. If you can’t change the situation, then you need to work at changing the way you feel about it. Only then can you begin to move on and feel better – inside and out.
So, after feeling like I’ve rambled on for a little too long, I’m off to put the kettle on and enjoy an afternoon off. I’d just like to say thank you for reading and hopefully I have given you a little food for thought.
Please free to ask me any questions – I will do my very best to help answer them.
Anthony Ashley
 http://www.anthonyashley.co.uk/about
Contact Ashley 077 33 48 42 49
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Tuesday, 18 January 2011 |
Happy New Year Everyone!
I realise this is coming a bit late, but I always find I am a bit slow in January and I resist giving up all the indulgence of Christmas! I hope you all had a lovely time, however you spent it!
This year has started out pretty exciting for me. I was featured in an article in Easy Living magazine. Wow I feel famous... It is out now- the February issue. The article is written By Catherine Hughes and is called Is Love Really Blind? I think it is a very moving piece, about couples dealing with a change in a partners appearance. I urge you to go buy it.
Anyway enough about me.
I hope those of you dealing with wearing your wig around the holidays didn't find it too stressful and were able to enjoy it. Sometimes I think part of the problem with confidence is not what others say or think, it is what we say to ourselves that undermines our confidence and how we perceive ourselves. Which brings me to an article I just read which I think is worth a mention. I read it online in The Guardian http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jan/18/how-to-be-happy-psychotherapist
I never forget that many of you are only just beginning to lose your hair and how frightening and isolating this is. Please remember you are not alone. Contact me or other groups such as Alopecia U.K.
Surrey/ Greater London Monthly support group is on 7th Feb at 7:30. I hope to see you there.
For more info go to www,juliemorris.co.uk/support
Best wishes
Julie
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Monday, 13 December 2010 |
Happy Hairless Christmas?
I was lucky enough to be in London last night. I was crossing Waterloo bridge and this view of London, never ceases to thrill me. The moon was bright and sparkling on the river, I could see Big Ben and the London eye. Lights everywhere. I have felt all Christmassy ever since.
This got me to thinking about those of you who are perhaps facing your very first Christmas without your hair.
There is soooooo much to do!!! Shopping, cooking, visiting, as well as parties. Many of these things, especially parties involve getting dressed up and looking good. Let's face it after choosing what we wear our hair is the single most important feature we use to express ourselves. Christmas just brings all this to the forefront and you may be feeling worse then you ever have in your life.
I have always been a sucker for Christmas I love everything about it. But my first Christmas without hair however was really tough. I still find it painful to remember. We had just lost our baby daughter, I didn't like my wig, and I hadn't told most of my friends. I couldn't stand to look at myself. It is not an exaggeration to say I felt ugly.
Looking back on that time and the most obvious thing I see is my lack of reaching out and getting some support. As well as feeling ashamed, I was so afraid of it being awkward, it just seemed easier to deal with it alone. How wrong I was!
Once I found a wig I loved, and gained the confidence to tell people, my world changed for the better. I can happily say it has continued to do so ever since.To be open about losing your hair is no easy thing; I understand this.
But it has been one of the best things I have ever done.
I would like you to remember some things about the people around you. If you are lucky enough to have family and friends who love and care for you then trust them to support you and help you through this.
Ask yourself this question- How would I feel about my friend if she lost her hair?
Would I judge her? Not like her anymore? Think she was ugly?
Of course not.
We love our friends and they love us for what we bring to each other's lives. Not how we look or what we wear.
Most people are more than supportive and sympathetic. This doesn't mean that I haven't had my share of awkward moments or insensitive comments, but these were far and few between and now never.
Think about why you love your friends.
I love my friends because they make me laugh, they are there for me, they listen.
If you really aren't ready to tell the people in your life or maybe you aren't feeling supported, remember you are not alone. There are thousands of people going through this too. Try and find your local support group or an online commuity you feel comfortable with. Here are a couple of links which maybe helpful.
http://www.alopeciaareatasupport.co.uk/
www.alopeciaonline.org.uk
I hope you will find the courage to reach out to someone. You really are worth it. Please have a very happy Christmas even if it is without your hair.
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Monday, 29 November 2010 |
Hello Everyone, I recieved this letter and thought i would pass it on to you. Please egt in touch with Claire Morrison if you think you may be interested in participating in this show.
Dear Julie
I hope you are well.
I am a Senior Producer at Maverick Television, please see www.mavericktv.co.uk. Maverick make the hit shows ‘How to Look Good Naked’, and ‘Ten Years Younger’.
I am getting in touch with you about a BBC One 730pm television series that i am working on. This series is called ‘Diagnosis’.
In each show we will feature three adults and children who have a health condition that has not yet been diagnosed.
Over the course of the programme we will diagnose and treat these conditions, through our top doctors and leading specialists in the field.
As this is BBC1 at 730pm, and normally gets at least 4 million viewers, we are keen to raise awareness of health conditions through the programme.
I was hoping very much to feature someone with suspected Alopecia. We think this will bring a huge amount of attention to the condition, and will highlight the cause.
We would then diagnose them through the programme with your help, and follow the treatment.
I understand this is a difficult task, but it would be great to know from you if you think we might be able to find this person, and how we could do it.
Thanks so much for you help in advance
Warmest wishes
Claire Morrison
Claire Morrison
Senior Development Producer
40 Churchway
Euston
NW11LW
Tel. 0207 874 6683 |
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
Fax. 0207 874 6635 | www.mavericktv.co.uk
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Tuesday, 23 November 2010 |
Julie Morris has become an Alopecia Online partner and supplier! We can now offer discounts to all alopecia online members.
Alopecia UK is a registered charity that supports people living with alopecia areata, totalis and universalis by providing information, support and advice. It also works to raise public awareness and understanding of alopecia areata throughout the UK and supports and funds research.
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